Perhaps by now you have read this will be one of my last columns for the Post-Dispatch. Let’s save the sappiest stuff for tomorrow’s sendoff, because there still is some heavy lifting to do here first.
Stockings are hanging by the chimney with care, and I couldn’t bear the thought of the tens of people who have come to love my annual Christmas column going without it before I depart. So, a little earlier than usual, here we go. As always, a jolly sense of humor is requested . . .
Cardinals third baseman Nolan Arenado: A Dodgers hat.
Former Cardinals first baseman Paul Goldschmidt: A rebound, perhaps in Yankee pinstripes?
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Minnesota Lynx star Napheesa Collier: A WNBA MVP season that ends in a championship.
Boston Celtics superstar Jayson Tatum: An NBA MVP season that ends in another championship, plus forward progress on his WNBA-to-STL pursuits.

Tennessee coach Tony Vitello hoists the College World Series championship trophy after the Volunteers won it on June 24, 2024, in Omaha, Neb. The native St. Louisan is ready for a chance to be a big-league manager.
National champion Tennessee baseball coach Tony Vitello: MLB managerial interest. Seems overdue. Sorry, Volunteers.
Cardinals shortstop Masyn Winn: The first of many All-Star appearances.
Cardinals outfielder Lars Nootbaar: A season that includes more than 120 games played.
Cardinals hitting coach Brant Brown: A social media sabbatical. Ask Jeff Albert.
Cardinals catcher — I mean first baseman — Willson Contreras: 30 home runs.
The St. Louis Baseball Writers: A home run of a writers’ dinner. Interested? Get your tickets here.
Blues general manger Doug Armstrong and coach Jim Montgomery: A roster that doesn’t tune out another coach.
Blues forward Jordan Kyrou: Full ascendance.
St. Louis goalies Jordan Binnington (Blues) and Roman Burki (City SC): Chances to shine in the playoffs. Don’t take these two for granted, folks.
Future MLB managers Yadier Molina and Albert Pujols: A Rob Manfred rule that lets managers jump into the batter’s box for one swing per game.
MLB commissioner Rob Manfred: An internship with the Savannah Bananas.
Cardinals manager Oli Marmol: No more questions from this knucklehead columnist.
Missouri football coach Eli Drinkwitz: A transfer quarterback with Brady Cook’s toughness, or a Sam Horn Surprise. Better yet, how about both?
Outgoing Mizzou quarterback Brady Cook: A shot named in his honor at Harpo’s. Name? “One Tough Tiger.”
Outgoing Mizzou receiver Luther Burden: An NFL offensive coordinator who remembers to get him the football.
Missouri basketball coach Dennis Gates: A clean sweep of the big non-conference rivalry games.

Don’t give up yet on St. Louis University’s men’s basketball team and its coach, Josh Schertz.
SLU men’s basketball coach Josh Schertz: Better injury and illness luck moving forward. Don’t give up on this season’s Billikens just yet.
Battlehawks coach Anthony Becht: An apology from those who ripped him for turning the page on former quarterback A.J. McCarron.
Former Battlehawks quarterback A.J. McCarron: More podcast hot takes.
New Battlehawks quarterback and former TCU MVP Max Duggan: A UFL championship.
Cardinals VP of special projections Michael Girsch: A Max Duggan Battlehawks jersey.
New City SC coach Olof Mellberg: An introduction to the sandwiches at Shapiro’s Market not far from Energizer (formerly City) Park.
Energizer Park: A press box named after Post-Dispatch soccer writer Tom Timmermann.

It’s time for ascending Cardinals executive Chaim Bloom to be heard from more often.
Incoming Cardinals president of baseball operations Chaim Bloom: More time in front of the local media.
Outgoing Cardinals president of baseball operations John Mozeliak: A post-retirement rebrand as fulfilling as Adam Wainwright’s country music tour.
Post-Dispatch sports editor Roger Hensley: A brainstorming call from Blues GM Armstrong before the team inks another long-term extension.
Incarnate Word girls basketball coach Dan Rolfes: A movie about his comeback story.
KTRS (550 AM) general manager Mark Dorsey: A Notre Dame football national championship.
St. Louis area Notre Dame fans: My apologies for all of those snarky tweets I sent over the years.
KTRS sports director Brendan Wiese: An autographed Bobby Witt Jr. rookie card.
Kansas basketball coach Bill Self: A thank-you card for blessing the return of the basketball Border War.
Kansas City Chiefs stars Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce: Guard dogs.
St. Louis Sports Commission president Marc Schreiber: Increased awareness and appreciation for the privately funded nonprofit that continues to help this region put its best foot forward.
Incoming Post-Dispatch sports columnist Lynn Worthy: An invitation to take over this annual Christmas gift column next year — as long as he comes up with something nice for me.
Yours truly: A scrapbook for the nice notes I’ve received after the news of the nearing departure. Truly, thank you. Here’s my favorite one: “We’ll miss all the Mike Shildt coverage.”
Well played.